2013 According to Facebook


Since I haven’t yet come to terms with making microblogs, and mostly post the interesting stuff in status form, here are some FB status selections from 2013. As it turns out, I did a lot of photo statuses early in the year, which I can’t easily copy. That’s okay. There is enough fun after November to get the idea.


E: I had a fun time playing with that boy who was distracting me from distracting those girls who were distracting me from playing. 11/16/2013 1:26:51 PM


Oh, Lord…the middle child. Amen. 11/17/2013 10:03:49 AM


Ian: Oh great. Elijah wouldn’t play, and now you won’t play. It’s a pattern. 11/19/2013 9:50:00 AM


Just showed this to the boys (http://www.mommyshorts.com/2013/11/the-princess-machine-will-save-our-daughters-if-they-dont-save-us-first.html) Ike: We can make something better than the girls! Who’s with me? E: Yeah! Ian: Let’s do it! Ike: Boys are better than girls! All those girls can do is sing! E: Yeah! Ian: Actually, girls are as good as boys. Ike: No they aren’t. Ian: Boys can do directions better. But girls remember things better. Boys can grow bigger and stronger. There are more things but I can’t remember them. All right. Let’s activate our brains! 11/20/2013 9:50:31 AM


The reward of parenting includes being likened to a super hero for making a glob of peanut butter cover a waffle properly. 11/20/2013 12:17:06 PM


I was talking on the phone to Brian on his way home from work. I had two different boys ask for the phone to ask their dad to swing by the store for a grocery item they decided was urgently lacking. For Isaac it was olives, for Elijah, it was sausage patties. Cracking up. 11/20/2013 5:21:06 PM


Smiling about words like “yesternight,” “inside-in,” “amn’t,” and “upside up.” “They” should have let kids make the English rules. 11/22/2013 12:45:56 AM


Hey, MMLGers (Massively Multiplayer Laundry Gamers)…Do you find it most efficient (for folding and putting away) to: 1. Wash each person’s laundry separately. 2. Wash like types of laundry separately (shirts, pants..). 3. Wash small “everything” loads every day. 4. Have a huge wash day. 5. Slog through making each child do his own, hoping one day sooner than later it will pick up speed, alternatively letting each child’s clothing rot in a “dirty” and/or “clean” basket until they agree to do it, and at what age is this fair? 11/22/2013 11:27:50 AM


Elijah (3), when he saw me in a dress: You look bee-U-teeful! Let’s dance! 11/23/2013 8:48:15 AM


Husband fail: Fascinated with the sound of the dress zipper I asked him to close (a task he is not often charged with, and has since been “mysteriously” rendered incapable of), he remarked, “It’s like closing a tent! ” (Only kidding about the crippled fingers. Maybe.) 11/23/2013 10:33:18 PM


E just called me Captain Hook’s girlfriend. Not sure how I feel about that. 11/24/2013 7:42:59 AM


Elijah: Mom? Can I watch a movie? Me: No. Elijah: Why??? It won’t turn off my bray-aaaain! 11/25/2013 11:10:56 AM


Elijah blew a raspberry at Ian in irritation. Ian responded with a mockingly sweet enthusiasm, “Oo-ooh! Water vapor!” 11/25/2013 11:29:12 AM


I can barely stand the cuteness of Isaac’s enthusiasm over a dusting of snow as we drove through town. 11/27/2013 9:52:26 AM


Isaac, playing superhero: I have radio action blood! 11/28/2013 8:22:19 PM


Ian was designing himself a Power Rangers cake. I asked about using cookies or other shapes, because I wasn’t sure about making people…he said, “Well, just find instructions on the computer.” Ug, this boy… 12/4/2013 4:57:46 PM


Elijah: If there were bad guys, I’d fight them and protect you (and rambled on about the details of his battle). Me: It’s so nice to know you’ll look after me. You know, I’d protect you too. E: Only if you were a boy because girls can’t fight. Me: Wait a minute…I’m strong. I could fight. Didn’t we just watch some shows that had girls that could fight really well? E: Yeah, but those were superhero kinds. Mom kinds don’t know how to win battles. Clearly the boy hasn’t witnessed Mama Bear in action. 12/4/2013 5:01:53 PM


Elijah, a few breakfasts ago: I’d like an egg sandwich but with no yucky stuff on it, or in it, or beside it, or under it. 12/6/2013 4:47:39 PM


When the boys are racing, the last, of course, is the rotten egg, but they make sure to also point out that the first is the “fresh egg.” On days when they all want to feel good about their rankings, the last is the “cherry on top” and the others choose from cones, ice cream and so forth. 12/7/2013 12:18:33 PM


My firstborn will be 7 tomorrow! That sounds so big! 12/7/2013 10:00:40 PM


Isaac, returning from the skating rink playground, casually mentions, “I had a date with a girl…” He is definitely my romantic. 12/8/2013 4:26:49 PM


Ian: knock knock. B: who’s there? Ian: Doctor B: Dr. Who? Ian: Yep. *snicker snort*…Get it? 12/8/2013 5:00:46 PM


The boys’ new favorite game is to take Dr Who character roles and have their dad chase them and pretend to absorb them while talking in an evil British accent and clawing at them with 3- fingered hands. 12/8/2013 7:41:37 PM


Rose: What’s in it?! Dalek: The future. Elijah: The future is heaven! 12/9/2013 3:34:59 PM


B was wrestling with the boys. Isaac threw his arms around B’s neck and squeezed, saying, “come in, chokie-yo!” Ian, across the room says, “I am watching a movie!” B runs and grabs him & Ian yells, “and it’s a 3D movie! Wow!” 12/12/2013 4:49:05 PM


Ian: Hey, Elijah, will you play this game with me? E: Yes, but only if you…LOVE on me! Ian: *hugs & kisses him all over his face* 12/13/2013 8:05:57 AM


One thing I have enjoyed about home schooling this year is that it elicits little sparks of life out of our “village.” People seem drawn to the enchantment of bestowing a new bit of understanding upon a hungry young mind, and we being out in the “real world” provides many of those opportunities. I love watching people come alive as they realize they have something to offer. How the world could change if we, as adults, maintained the gracefulness of that giving/receiving relationship. 12/13/2013 9:40:01 AM


Elijah: Ian! Isaac! Check this out! I can say ‘yellow’! (A word he had trouble pronouncing before) 12/13/2013 3:48:06 PM


B: There’s Knoxville! Ian: Where’s doorbell-ville? 12/16/2013 11:07:46 AM


We both had greens for dinner. Brian called it saladarity. 12/16/2013 3:33:33 PM


My favorite boy words from this weekend: relegar (regular), hollywood (for Dollywood), omper (a chomping character in an old vid game), yesternight, hotpool (hot tub). 12/16/2013 3:43:27 PM


I don’t know what adventure the boys are imagining, but I just heard Ian yell, “Wait! You’re destroying all the technology!” 12/16/2013 6:53:16 PM


Ian and Isaac have a short piece of chain and a measuring tape and are playing a long-running game they call “Super Measuring Tape.” Ian has negotiated to play “House Connectors” next. 12/17/2013 10:32:34 AM


The boys were playing some Toy Story inspired game when I heard Elijah say he’d invented The Buzz Killer. 12/17/2013 4:33:03 PM


Ian’s hard-to-answer question – help? “Why is the sun orange-yellow but light is white?” 12/18/2013 2:30:21 PM


The other night poor Ian was bemoaning a list of perceived slights, saying, “Why do I always get all the bad stuff?” just in time to sit down next to Isaac and get blown over by the third loudest booty toot in recorded history. 12/20/2013 11:04:36 AM


Checking into a hotel & Isaac (5) asks, “Where’s the ele-Dark-vator?” 12/20/2013 9:42:23 PM


Me: Where arrrre ya, you little whipper snapper? Isaac: Come and get me you big whipper creamer! 12/21/2013 8:49:11 AM


ust as we’re stepping off the elevator into the Hampton lobby, my three adorable minions erupt in a chorus of “Joyful Joyful.” I adore their hearts so stinkin’ enormously. 12/21/2013 9:00:14 AM


I heard the boys arguing near a box of gifts my sister shipped to me. When I checked in with them, Elijah was telling me there was a beautiful dress in the box for me. Ian was angry that Elijah was spilling the “secret.” Isaac confessed that “last night dad told us the box was ‘a dress’ to you.” Then I realized their mis-interpretation of “addressed” and giggled at their preciousness. 12/21/2013 8:55:17 PM


Elijah wakes up and pads down the hall to me: Good morning, my beautiful mommy. You are so pwecious (stroking my hair). Would you pour me some chocolate cereal (little hot hand on my cheek), my yuvyee smiley-head? Like I would say no in a hundred thousand eons. 12/22/2013 8:21:46 AM


Ian (7): What do they call Frankenstein on April Fool’s day? Prankenstein! 12/24/2013 9:04:04 AM


Isaac (5): Does Santa’s sleigh land only on snow? B: No, I don’t think so… I: Well then, when he lands on ground without snow, does his sleigh make sparks? 12/25/2013 10:09:17 AM


Elijah (3): A dream is when you see yourself without a mirror and then you wake up and feel scared. 12/25/2013 10:12:46 PM


Ian, 7: What’s aqua-thousand plus aqua-thousand? B: There’s no such thing as aqua-thousand. Isaac, 5: It’s aqua-two-thousand! 12/26/2013 4:55:31 PM


Ian: I can run 3,000 seconds a mile! 12/26/2013 4:58:11 PM


Ian asks: If David couldn’t handle the king’s sword, how could he use Goliath’s MUCH BIGGER sword?! 12/26/2013 7:04:46 PM


Ian had a pool squirter and Isaac was holding up a “target.” Ian missed his first shot and squirted Isaac in the face. We expected Isaac to unleash his fury, but he simply turned his face. After a couple shots, Ian said said, “Yeah! I hit the target!” Isaac calmly replied, “But you hit me in the face first, so I get to pick your prize.” 12/26/2013 7:29:11 PM


Elijah: Stay in here with me, Dad, or I will be scared. B: But Ian is here with you. Ian: Yeah I’m here with you. E: But I need two men with me, or I will be scared. Ian: You said you’re not afraid of the dark but you are. E: Yes, I am, because I’ve gotten littler. Ian: You can’t do that — you can only get bigger. E: But I’ve eaten a lot of not healthy food, so I’ve gotten littler. 12/26/2013 7:50:25 PM


Me: How did you get to be so funny? Elijah (3): At the train station. Me: Oh? That made you funny? E: Yes they trained me. 12/28/2013 8:30:01 AM


Happy New Year!




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