As is frequent on Bible study nights, I stayed up late last night winding down. Then I got up to pee. Then Elijah started a particularly boisterous thrashing dance, during which he assumed “The Scarf” position (do click on that link and learn the truth about bed sharing). Notice, he is not an infant. He is a four and a half year old hunk of squish, and he was on my face and I could feel elbows and knees were curling up to constrict. He did pause to kiss my cheek a couple times, and eventually flopped down again. Then he flopped some more and said with unusual alertness, “I’ll be right back. Save my spot.” It’s 3 a.m. my friend. Nobody is going to leap into the gap. He returned from the bathroom, and fidgeted a while more before deciding to steam roll me on his way to the other “cooler” side of the bed.
The other two boys have barometers that sense the atmospheric pressure change of their father leaving at O’dark:thirty, and habitually end up next to me as well. Isaac ninja’d into bed next. Sometime near the crack of dawn, Ian decided to try creeping over Elijah and I to fit his body into the micrometers of space between Isaac and I. I felt bony toes and legs slide down my back and pause. Isaac shifted. The knees hit my back. Isaac pressed in. The bones conceded and removed themselves from my spine. Ian plodded back to the empty side and started gently singing, “Good morning to you, good morning to you,” but whispered, “oh” when I spat a “shh” into my pillow, and he fell back asleep. Regardless of how many people are in bed, there is always a solid 24″ of space on one side that nobody seems to want, except me. But they chase me. All night.
In short, I’m a little sleepy today.