The Un-Slumber Party


Last night the boys had a friend over to spend the night. It was a well-thought-out event. Ian told me how he and “L” had made plans to play certain games and read certain books and that they were going to stay up all night. Since it was a Saturday night, we agreed that they could do all these things, provided that electronics went off at 11, that they let tired people sleep, and that they’d stick to light “midnight snacks”.

The boys did, indeed, spend a significant amount of time reading, and a fair amount of time on electronics. But in the evening, there was an epic 4-hour game of Monopoly that lasted until 11 pm. Brian and I went to bed shortly after that. My eyes gleefully shut and I drifted off into happy slumber. What followed was a series of groggy flashes into alternate realities.

1:30 a.m. Eyes creaked open to a small figure hovering over me asking, “Can we have a slice of pizza?” (That might upset your tummy. Try something lighter like toast or fruit.)

1:45 a.m. Eyes groaned open to the same small figure asking if a tortilla was okay, because the bread was all gone. (mumble)

2:30 a.m. Eyes sighed open to the glare of the door opening. A medium-sized figure entered and shook the bed a little. *must be on HIS side*

2:45 a.m. Eyes griped open to the small figure wrenching his way  into my side of the bed.

2:55 a.m. Eyes fussed open to the clamor of the middle-sized figure leaving the room.

3:00 a.m. Eyes inched open to the ruckus of middle-sized figure hauling bedding into the room.

3:15 a.m. Eyes refuse to open to oldest voice asking dad what he can do, because L is sleeping, and he’s bored.

6:45 a.m. Eyes flutter open to the discomfort of my crammed position. I realize that I am smashed against Brian, and my 77 lb dog has his head on MY pillow, and the small-figured child is scrunched down low, using the punk dog’s rump as a pillow. I can’t imagine how this transpired, but clearly my brain gave up on noticing things. I made a lame sketch to illustrate.

I went ahead and got up, at that point, because I had to be at a meeting before long. I sneaked upstairs and saw Ian and L asleep on the Foof chair and couch bed, respectively. Ian says they made it until three, when they tried to sleep in shifts, but it got boring, so they just slept. Not a bad attempt, fellas, but I think I’m too old for you to stay up all night again for a few years.

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