As a Stay At Home Mom, I struggle with not doing certain chores often enough because they are too disgusting, because I don’t do them often enough — namely, showers, toilets and floors. One day, determination sets in, and I grab my Magic Erasers, scrubbers and cleaners, and attack the nasty grime and it takes me too long. Too long, because it gives my crew of short people enough time to destroy the rest of the house. But, my shower is gorgeous. Then, I get mad at it two weeks later for not still being clean…because it took so much work last time, that I couldn’t bear to do it again sooner.

I won’t mention the odor emanating from the area where the three little aimless pee-standers congregate. I keep trying to give that job to my husband, since he is of that particular clan, and I’d like to put him in charge of aiming school. He’s willing to clean, but it’s hard to nudge him in there with a bucket of supplies when he gets something like five minutes at home before it’s time to go to bed again.

Some time between breakfast and dinner, and most certainly by the night of the second day, my kitchen floor starts experiencing elevation changes, due to table droppings and meandering munchers. I’ve tried promptly sweeping after breakfast, but it’s already lunch time by the time I get everyone and every thing situated from the breakfast mess, and I’d hate to delay another pointless cooking episode. Not to mention, there are about 17 toddler snacks between meals. Actually, roughly 1-3 of my boys don’t seem to eat meals. My youngest, especially, has tantrumed a number of times because he left food on the table that I cleaned up. He wants to come back to it every 20 minutes until he’s *actually* done. So, due to the futility of sweeping, I’m thinking instead about installing belaying hardware to navigate the cereal cliffs.

I’m generally great at organizing, but, friend, there are parts of my house that may very well be gross. I hope you brave a visit anyway. Feel free to bring along any coping accessories you may require.