My over-active imagination never seems to miss an appointment. I tire of writing about this, now that Elijah’s chemo treatment is 2 years behind us, but apparently I need to work it out some more, or there’s some reason I’m not supposed to “get over it.” Last night, as I was trying to sleep, I kept getting old images in my mind of Elijah’s LCH days in the hospital. Today, he had a dentist appointment scheduled — the one in which his two “bad” teeth are being monitored, so my brain jumped on the opportunity, the night before, to trudge into memoryville.
It makes sense. It was a big deal, and there’s always a sliver of fear of something returning. Often, when I’m forced to confront the memories with upcoming checkups, I startle awake at night with a tight chest and a lump in my throat from a vivid recollection.
However, the difficult memories are not all a bad thing. They are also a reminder of the unfathomable goodness of God, and of the treasure He has given our family. I put a high priority on holding my boys tightly day and night and letting them grow into the warriors for good that they were made to be. I don’t want to lose track of those priorities and blessings, so if it takes occasional nightmares, so be it.
As expected, Elijah’s dental checkup went well, as did his recent oncology check up (The oncologist is transferring him to annual appointments at the survivor clinic). The dentist says we are doing well keeping his teeth clean, and they are not bothering him or getting worse. For a surgeon, he expressed great sensitivity to the number of doctors and procedures Elijah has experienced in his life time, and wants to give him some distance from more trauma, if there’s not a pressing need. We certainly appreciate that sentiment.
Elijah seemed to actually enjoy his checkup. He was jealous last week when his older brothers had their teeth cleaned, so he popped up in the chair and smiled away when it came his turn. Of course, the highlight was getting to pick a new toothbrush. Spending most of the day driving to and from and attending appointments are a drag, but it’s nice to get some one-on-one time with the little guy, and I’m thrilled knowing his brothers got to enjoy a day playing with a good friend. Mom-friends are a treasure of their own!
[For the whole Langerhan’s Cell Histiocytosis shebang, check out my blog posts from January 2010 on into early 2011, and/or check out “LCH” in the side-bar tag cloud.]